personal growth – Page 2 – Ruthann M. Wilson

How to Truly Apologize: Steps for Authentic Repair and Growth

“Never ruin an apology with an excuse.”

—Benjamin Franklin

The best way to say “I am sorry” is to say “I am sorry” and support your words with action. Anytime we say “I am sorry, but…” we have cancelled the apology and shifted into defense mode. What typically follows the word ‘but’ is an excuse for what we said, did, or didn’t do.

“I am sorry, but you made me angry.”
“I am sorry, but it wasn’t really my fault”.
“I am sorry, but [fill in the blank].”

Extending an apology to someone we have hurt or offended is an act of humility and a way of acknowledging the other person’s feelings and the importance of the relationship.

If you are someone that typically adds ‘but’ to your apologies, ask yourself why? Use what you learn through self-reflection to grow. Be clear as to why you are apologizing and extend your apology from the heart—an excuse free zone.

Take Action

Is there a relationship in your life that could benefit from an excuse free apology? If yes, take action, extend your apology and support your words with action.

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All the best,

Ruthann

Release the Past: Reflection Practices for Healing and Moving Forward

I can think of a time in my life when my primary focus was on past mistakes, missed opportunities, and the wrong doing of others. It was a dead end focus that kept me anchored in the past, silently suffering in the present, and not truly moving forward.

Through an ongoing process of forgiveness, I learned to release the past, resentment, and anger that I felt toward myself and others. Instead of looking back on challenging or painful situations with resentment and regret, I began to look back and ask what I learned about myself (first and foremost) and others and how the ‘lessons learned’ could help me grow. This was an ongoing process that helped me get unstuck and move forward.

The first step to release the past is to decide to release the past. There is great power in deciding to let it go. There is even more power in writing your decision down.

Once you have affirmed your decision to release the past in writing, sit with your decision in silence and allow your wise self that awaits you in silence to guide your steps forward. You have the power to release the past so that you can begin to truly moving forward.

Questions for reflection:

What in my past is keeping me from enjoying the present?
What in my past is keeping me from proactively creating my future?
What steps can I take to release the past so that I can truly move forward?

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All the best,

Ruthann

Create a New Chapter in Your Life

“And suddenly you just know…it’s time to start something new and trust the magic of beginnings.”

—Meister Eckhart

A new beginning provides us with the opportunity to create a new chapter in our lives. To get the most out of your fresh start, spend some time reflecting on what is complete and ready to be released, and what you are inspired to begin. Here are a few questions for reflection:

What did I accomplish recently?
What didn’t I accomplish that I really wanted to? Why?
Who or what was my greatest blessing? Why?
What is complete in my life and ready to be released so that I can begin a new chapter?
What am I inspired to begin now?

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Ruthann

Awaken to Possibility: Living from Within

Carl Jung once said, ‘Who looks outside, dreams. Who looks inside, awakens.’ This video is an invitation to awaken, to stay open to possibility and to live from within. I share three practices to support your journey: asking yourself powerful questions, engaging in quiet reflection with the intention of learning (not judging), and cultivating an ongoing spiritual practice. Together, these practices help you move forward with clarity, openness, and purpose.

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All the best,

Ruthann

Mid-Year: Review, Reflect, Keep Moving Forward

It’s hard to believe that we are halfway through the year. It’s a good time to pause and reflect on the first half of the year to see where you are versus where you hoped to be this time of the year. Make an effort to look back at the first half of the year without getting stuck in feelings of guilt or regret if you are off track. The goal of a mid-year evaluation is to review, reflect, correct, and move forward.

If you work in a business setting, you are more than likely used to a mid-year assessment related to your role/position. It is also a good practice for other areas of your life. Here are a few questions for you to consider:

What have I accomplished year to date?
- Consider all of your life areas (e.g., career, finances, health & fitness, etc.)
- Celebrate your accomplishments no matter how big or small.
What didn’t I accomplish that I really wanted to? Why?
Who or what has been my greatest blessing? Why?
What did I learn?
How did I grow?
What am I really committed to?

The last question is important to crystalize as a part of your mid-year evaluation. It will help you to see where you need to make adjustments to your current plan or change course and create a new plan of action.

For your reference, I have provided links to previous posts that are related to this topic.

Be Intentional (includes a downloadable worksheet)

Focus on what truly matters

SMART Goals: Bring Your Desires to Life

Create a Vision Board

Create a Theme for the Year

Keep moving forward! 🙂

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All the best,

Ruthann

Strategies to Stay Focused on What Matters

What we choose to focus on magnifies in our lives. Here are a few strategies that can help you stay focused on what truly matters and create the life that you desire.

Capture what is most important to you in writing

Writing things down can help you focus, plan, organize, and bring your dreams to life. Make a commitment to capture what is most important to you in writing – your values, vision, goals, etc.

Clarify your personal values

Values are qualities/principles that are most important to you. Your values are the foundation for your life. They inform your life choices and help you prioritize what is most important in your life. Take time to identify, clarify, and prioritize your values in writing and put them into action.

Create a vision for your life

A vision is a desired future state. Give yourself permission to dream BIG. Create a detailed vision of what you desire for your life and create a plan of action to bring it to life. You may find my post on vision boards helpful. Click here to read the vision board post.

Create awareness of how you are spending your time, energy, and money

Keep track of how you are spending your time, energy, and money (in writing) on a daily basis for the next seven days. It will help you see the degree to which you are (or aren’t) focused on what truly matters. This exercise is seriously eye opening!

Need support? Be True to You is designed to help you clarify what truly matters and create the life that you desire.

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All the best,

Ruthann

SMART Goals: Bring Your Desires to Life

This post was inspired by a mini-workshop that I recently conducted on creating goals, in particular, SMART* goals. The acronym SMART stands for specific, measurable, attainable, relevant, and time bound.

Setting goals is a way to bring your desires to life. Goals enable you to go from hoping and wishing to manifesting what you truly desire.

If you work in a business setting, you are more than likely used to setting and achieving goals related to your role/position. However, most people don’t have personal goals (e.g., career, relationship, financial, etc.) that are specific and written down. It is estimated that only 3% of people have written goals.

Time is one of your most precious resources. The SMART approach is a great way to create written goals and structure your time.

Questions to consider as you create each goal:

Specific: What exactly will you accomplish?
Measurable: How will you know when you have reached your goal?
Attainable: Is your goal challenging, yet attainable?
Relevant: Is your goal clearly linked to your values/what matters most?
Time-bound: By what date will you accomplish your goal?

If there is something that you are hoping/wishing to accomplish “someday”, make today the day you give it a deadline, create a plan, and put your plan into action.

Consider using images and/or symbols as visual reminders of your desired outcome (click here to see my post on vision boards).

Work toward your goals, but don’t be attached to a particular outcome. Being attached to a specific outcome can get in the way of you receiving an even bigger blessing than the one you had in mind.

SMART goals aren’t just a personal practice — they’re also a cornerstone of career success. When you set specific, measurable, attainable, relevant, and time‑bound goals, you create clarity and focus that drive both professional achievement and personal fulfillment.

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All the best,

Ruthann

*SMART concept created by George Doran

Create a New Chapter in Your Life: Release what limits, nurture what empowers

A new year provides us with the opportunity to begin a new chapter in our lives. We open the door to new opportunities and new beginnings when we release thoughts and beliefs that limit us and replace them with those that enrich, expand, empower, and enable us to create the kind of lives and world that we truly desire.

Our minds are fertile ground. The seeds we choose to plant, and nurture will take root and blossom in our lives.

I invite you to join me in planting “seeds” of unity, peace, love, compassion, and joy. Commit to nurturing these seeds on a daily basis through your thoughts, words, and actions to enrich your life, the lives of others, and the world.

Pause for a moment and ask yourself: What seed will I plant today? Each day is a page in the chapter you are writing. Choose words and actions that align with the life you desire.

Release what limits, nurture what empowers, trust what unfolds.

You’re welcome to follow the blog to receive notifications of new posts, subscribe to the mailing list to receive new posts and updates directly to your inbox, or connect with me on social media, whatever feels most supportive.

Ruthann

Navigating Change and Life Transitions: Reflection Practices for Clarity

If you have read my book, you know there is a recurring theme that the nature of life is change and transition for the purpose of growth and evolution. Change is an inevitable and necessary element of life. It can be self-initiated or the result of external factors that might be out of our control (e.g., death of a loved one, loss of a job, health crisis, economy, sociopolitical environment).

Change is difficult whether we initiate it or not because it requires us to release/let go of something or someone and venture into the unknown. The unknown can be exciting or frightening depending on your perspective. Being able to reflect on the changes and transitions that have occurred in our lives enables us to learn and grow from our experiences.

As a part of my year-end process, I look back at the changes that occurred over the course of the year. I put the changes into two categories: 1) changes that I proactively initiated and 2) changes that were in response to external factors. I look at them separately for two reasons: 1) I am committed to personal growth and it is a way to hold myself accountable and 2) I recognize that some events/circumstances are out of my control, however, they provide me with an opportunity to learn more about myself, as well as others, and make changes accordingly.

I invite you to look back on the year in the context of the changes that occurred in your life. Look back with the following questions in mind.

What did you learn?
How did you grow?
What did you do for the first time this year? How did it make you feel?
Did you proactively initiate any changes in your life? If not, why not?
What did you learn about yourself and others as a result of external factors that were out of your direct control?

If your desire is to create your life from the inside out, commit to setting goals and proactively making changes in your life. Choose how to respond to external factors that are out of your control and stay focused on your goals.

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All the best,

Ruthann

Visualize Your Future: The Power of Vision Boards

A vision board is a visual representation of your desired outcomes. It is a powerful tool for staying focused and bringing your goals to life through the use of words, images, and symbols.

Your vision board can represent what you desire for your life overall, be specific to a life area (e.g., health and fitness, career, relationships, etc.) or a quality that you would like to magnify in your life (e.g., peace, love, joy, etc.). The key is to include words, images, and symbols that are meaningful to you. Keep your board where you can see it on a daily basis. It will serve as a visual reminder of what you would like to manifest in your life.

In my post, Be Intentional, I encouraged you to spend some time thinking about and visualizing where you would like to be in the next three months. I invite you to create a vision board that represents what you visualized for your life three months from now or whatever time frame works best for you.

What you will need:

Your goals/desired outcomes (click here to read about SMART goals)
Poster board, cork board, or large piece of paper
Glue, tape, push pins (depending on the type of board you are using)
Words, images, and symbols that you cut out of magazines and/or download from the internet
Colored pens and/or markers for handwritten words and/or images
Scissors

Alternatively, you may also decide to create a digital vision board via software or app.

There is no right or wrong way to create your board. It is a creative process that produces a visual representation of what you would like to manifest in your life. Have fun and enjoy the process! Search the internet to see examples of vision boards (also known as treasure maps). The link below will take you to Google images for vision boards.

Google images for vision boards

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All the best,

Ruthann