JOURNAL ENTRY: I realized over the break that I am living a double life.
I have kept a journal most of my life. I have found it to be an invaluable tool for recording my dreams, clarifying my thoughts, and processing my feelings. It has also helped me to see how much I have grown over time.
As a part of the writing process for Be True to You, I reviewed some of my older journals. I was looking for themes in terms of what I was journaling about as well as statements that were related to breakthroughs and turning points. One of the statements that I found during the process inspired this post. I made a note in my journal that I felt like I was living a double life. I was driven by a need to be accepted and, in the process, not openly sharing the part of me that loves to explore a variety of topics and finds inspiration in many things.
At the time of my journal entry, I was exploring spirituality (through a different lens), the Divine Feminine, and symbolic systems such as astrology. My interest in these topics was real, however, I was not comfortable sharing what I was exploring because the topics were outside of “normal” conversations within my circle of friends and family. I did not want to be seen as “eccentric” or as a “new ager”. In reality, I was judging myself and assuming what others might think about me. I noted in my journal that I was out of integrity by not sharing that part of me. I made a conscious decision to stand in my truth and start sharing my interests with others; not only for my personal integrity, but as a way for them to get to know me at a deeper level.
For the most part, it seems the more authentic I am with others, the more authentic they are with me. Being authentic and vulnerable opens the door for deeper and more meaningful relationships.
Is there a part of you that you are hiding/not sharing with friends and family because you are afraid of disapproval, rejection, or judgment? How might you begin to bring that part of you forward?
All the best,