How to Truly Apologize: Steps for Authentic Repair and Growth

“Never ruin an apology with an excuse.”

—Benjamin Franklin

The best way to say “I am sorry” is to say “I am sorry” and support your words with action. Anytime we say “I am sorry, but…” we have cancelled the apology and shifted into defense mode. What typically follows the word ‘but’ is an excuse for what we said, did, or didn’t do.

  • “I am sorry, but you made me angry.”
  • “I am sorry, but it wasn’t really my fault”.
  • “I am sorry, but [fill in the blank].”

Extending an apology to someone we have hurt or offended is an act of humility and a way of acknowledging the other person’s feelings and the importance of the relationship.

If you are someone that typically adds ‘but’ to your apologies, ask yourself why? Use what you learn through self-reflection to grow. Be clear as to why you are apologizing and extend your apology from the heart—an excuse free zone. 

Take Action

Is there a relationship in your life that could benefit from an excuse free apology?  If yes, take action, extend your apology and support your words with action.

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All the best,

Ruthann

Copyright © Ruthann M. Wilson. All Rights Reserved.